Thinking

I was sitting in the lower field eating some lunch when I noticed a small black ant carrying something three times it's size. It wasn't surprising, I mean that's just what ants do. A fly landed on my skirt and instead of mindlessly swatting it away I took a moment to admire it's ginormous eyes. Not surprising, flies just have really big eyes. A spider crawled up my arm. I gently picked it up and set it on the ground beside me, letting it continue on with whatever it is that spiders do. From the porch behind me I could hear the buzzing of hundreds of bees gathering at their boxes. I wasn't surprised at how active they were. Gathering pollen on a warm sunny day is just what honeybees do.

Amidst all of the earth's little creatures I was sitting, a big human sitting and thinking. Thinking about how easily I could squish an ant, swat a fly, or kill a spider. So often that is just what humans do. Something has changed for me, though. I don't do any of those things.

We are all a part of a very big ecosystem. Each little insect has a role in this world, every microbe has a job.  Our jobs aren't as clear. We have the ability to think about what we want to do rather than just do. We create options and if we are lucky we find our paths, or the thing that we are meant to do. The thing that makes our hearts happy.  I am blessed to feel so connected to something. I feel so connected to this earth, and I see myself as a just a small piece in this very big ecosystem. I am not surprised by all the "simple" things that each insect does each day, but I am amazed. I think the novelty will always be there. As an organic farmer (in training), I see it as my job to respect all energy, microscopic and humongous. To try my best to understand the natural systems in this world and see how I can work with those systems and not against.

It's easy to bulldoze an acre, or hundreds, and make things grow. It's convenient to have acres and acres of one crop growing. It's easier to spray chemicals on your crop than to deter the pests organically. It's faster to harvest when things are uniform, and simple tasks make for cheap labor. Yet I am convinced that there is a better way. And I am not the only one that thinks so. Understand that when you buy a conventionally grown tomato from the grocery store you are saying yes to large scale, convenient agriculture. I think it is our job to think before doing. Ask questions. Support small-scale, local farmers. It's easy to get into a routine, to do without thinking why first.  Before you buy the brand name, or squash the spider that crawls on your arm, take a moment and ask why. Let's do what humans are meant to do... let's think before we just do.

Empty Space

I've recently learned a lot about weeding and cultivation. Selectively pulling out plants so you can plant what you want to see grow, and managing the weeds as they creep in. One thing that goes along with weeding is that you end up with a lot of empty space, bare ground where plants or weeds once covered. And empty space in a garden just calls out for more weed invasions. Chickweed is a common weed around here. It starts off tiny and innocent and the next thing you know it has gone to seed and covered the entire garden. So one technique is to weed, or cultivate the chickweed and then plant something else in the space where it once grew. You can plant flowers that keep pests away and attract beneficial insects. Or you could plant other veggies that pair well with the one you want to grow. There are so many ways to fill empty space in a garden, transforming the bare into a beautiful, functional place. No matter how you fill the space though, the weeds are likely to come back again and again. However, as you persistently cultivate they will be less intense as time goes on.

Today is the 7th. June 7th. One month since I received an awful call explaining that my dad died. That is some heavy information. So heavy that I'm not quite sure how to process it. And it's odd how something so heavy, so intense has left me feeling so empty. There is this hole, this bare space in my heart. And I find myself trying to fill the empty negative space with positive things. I call my loved ones more than I ever have. I spend my time outside filling my mind with natural beauty and keeping my body busy with things to do. I am filling my empty space as best as I know how. And then there are moments and days where my sorrow creeps in, the chickweed creeps in, and it seems unmanageable. And I have to decide how to handle it.

All of this sorrow has given me great perspective. I know how important it is to appreciate every individual and every thing in my life. How great it is to feel joy and express laughter. And to appreciate the little things, like how wonderful it is when a bed is free of weeds- or at least has less than the day before.

In farming there is always weeding and cultivating to be done. It is how empty space is filled that determines the condition and success of the farm in the future.

As I have said many times before and will continue to say many times after, there really is a lot to be learned from farming.