The Gift

If the secrets to life and longevity were offered to you, would you accept the gift?

For most of my life I was seeking such a gift, a gift of health, love, and security. The gift of liberation. Liberation from fear, anxiety, depression, and disease.  All my life I wanted to open that present and carry it with me always.

But then something crazy happened. I found the gift. From the moment we encountered there was no doubt in my mind that the gift was real. And as I unwrapped and unveiled the secrets to life and longevity something horrible happened. I realized that I could not go on living my life the way I had been living. For my choices and preferences were the antithesis of the gift I was seeking.

So along with this gift came the greatest challenge of my life:  letting go of what once was so that my  life can unfold into health, longevity, and love. Things that I found comfort in, like my habits of consumption (food, television, alcohol/drugs) are the things that inhibit me from carrying this gift. But letting go of 20+ years of habit is not an instant task. It has been a struggle. Every day a struggle. No one outside of my self is telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't, it's all on me. It's all on me to remodel my life so that I can carry the gift that I so desperately desired.

It's been a year since I was first introduced to Ayurveda: the science of life and longevity. And for an entire year I have been torn between choosing life or choosing death. Choosing liberation or choosing bondage. Choosing between how I used to live and how I want to be.

Some people don't understand the journey that I have chosen, actually most people in my life don't understand. I am a strange bird in my family flock, and an even greater oddity in this society. It's hard. It's truly challenging. Is it worth it? Time will tell.

But when you are given such a precious gift, it seems only wise to care for it with tender love and kindness.